If some of our Bollywood stars were turned into firecrackers, then who would become what?
Here’s a quick trailblazing list (all in fun):
- Alu bomb (alias hand bomb): Vivek Oberoi-
The bomb every girl would want to have in their hands used to be colourful and hassle-free but afer a brief and glamorous career fizzled out of existence.
- Sasta rockets: Abhishek Bacchan
These sasta rockets travel into the market and into our homes primarily due to the sky-high reputation of their proven predecessors , but when put to the fire test themselves they struggle to inch even 50 metres above the ground. Before you can run for cover, their disgraced half-burnt dandaa falls over your head like a box office dud.
- Siren: Mallika Sherawat-
The sex siren of Bollywood [even hollywood 😉 ] has done little else than to ‘scream’ her way to stardom.
- Butterfly: Ranbir Kapoor-
The problem with ‘Butterfly’ is that you never know which way will it spin and which direction it will take. It may veer towards you or get under the skirt of that other woman. But no matter what, it is guaranteed to brew some butterflies in your stomach.
- Fuljhari: Shahrukh Khan-
Amongst all crackers, fuljhari is the safest bet. It can be enjoyed by everybody from kids to adults to septuagenerians. At times plain, at times sparkling and occasionally a loud red, it enjoys universal appeal and is found in every corner. And irrespective of the economy and firecracker norms, fuljhari always ‘sells’.
- Chocolate bomb: Sunny Leone-
Everybody from the opportunistic shopkeeper to the sordid customer, all want to see it, hold it and watch it explode. But it all happens in super secrecy. Nobody wants to get caught with a chocolate bomb.
- Chakri: Hrithik Roshan-
Chakri clearly is the mass favourite with giggling kids and squeaky girls. Safe, delightful and reliable- a chakri spins vigorously (Krrish style), gives you some adrenaline moments and leaves you spinning (craving) for more. However, cracker critics always give it a thumbs down for being a silly no-brainer head-churner.
- Anar: Salman Khan-
Anar has that ageless, timeless charm that when set off grabs the attention of the entire paara (locality). Everybody hearts an anar for its opulent, larger-than-life persona. At times, it does disappoint when it’s all style sans substance, but you can’t contest the fact that when a ‘fuljhari’ hugs an ‘anar’ setting off sparks, the entire mohalla comes to a standstill.
- Train: Ashutosh Gowariker-
It takes almost five solar eclipses just to get this train cracker ready. But once the hard job is done, it ensures that the length and breadth (and history) of your entire terrace is covered in just a few gasps.
- Star: Farida jalal
Quiet, unassuming and bright. Nobody remembers its presence at the end but its absence would make the present seem absent.